Thursday, October 7, 2010

Louisville, now what?

So if you don't already know I spent last weekend at Louisville Seminary. I was there exploring the programs available in which I can pursue my Master's Degree. Now I must put a big qualification on this blog entry. Please do not under any circumstance leave some way to go or you can do it comment. I know I can do it. Also please don't go around blabbing that I am moving to Louisville. NO SUCH decision has been made. I am merely exploring my options and that is all I am doing. I am taking little steps that are moving me closer to obtaining an excellent graduate education. After the whole Princeton debacle that ended with not only my own feelings of disappointment, I had to deal with those who had been so supportive of me too. I do not want that burden this time around. It was a terrible thing to be so disappointed and know that you had let down those who believed in you. This is why I have been some what secretive this go around. It's all kind of personal for me.

Now that all being said, exactly what I feared would happen, happened this weekend. I fell in love with just about everything Louisville had to offer. Actually the only thing I wasn't impressed with was the student housing which left a thing or ten to be desired. Maybe it isn't love, maybe it was I heard God's call so clearly that it can't be ignored. From the time I left Princeton I knew I wasn't done with Seminary. However this was like God saying, I have called you here, it's time, welcome home. A very powerful experience. On that has left me flying high for days. It feels as if I was lifted out of some sort of depression I didn't know I was in. My heart is lusting after God not prestige and that make's a world of difference.

So I am trying to just take it one step at a time, so right now that means applying and getting accepted to LPTS. Then we can start to take the next steps. Last night I faced my Princeton fears and had e-mail exchange with the admissions department about the nightmare like semester. That was a huge step in this process for me.

All the stuff that comes after the acceptance letter is the stuff that has me a little crazy. Ironic I know because I have yet to finish and file the application let alone receive an acceptance. I do not even know if I will receive this letter when all is said and done. However, my mind is spinning in 1000 directions. So my thought was maybe I should write it out.

In the past I never had to think much about things like a move this far away. Paul and I were always game for anything. Now we have Lilia and I find myself wrestling with what is the best decision for her. On the one hand it means leaving her warm colorful room and being the center of her mom's world. Yet on the other, it means she gets to see an example of a woman working hard to better the life of her family and to serve God. It's a toss up anyway you look at it.

I do not want to bore you with the details. There are so many details. I will leave you with this, I will continue to take one step at a time and worry about the details as they come. I am going to notice that being a mom makes me think differently. I have faith that if I am attentive to God's call then I will be exactly where I need to be.

1 comment:

  1. so i won't say "you can do it" because as you said-you already know this. I also won't give any advice as you don't need it. Instead i will say only this. I am glad