We have pretty much told everyone that we are moving this summer. It is interesting to watch the reactions of people. The other night we were watching Revolutionary Road. A strange movie but good none the less. There is a scene where the Wheelers are telling their neighbors that they are moving to Paris. The reaction is priceless, why would you want to do that? The response was even better, because we are young and we want to live our lives. We have gotten some resistance from people, not very much though. This is probably because they know I will not be swayed. Basically I have just told people that I have to go where I can give my daughter the best life possible. I have to make decisions that will help me provide for her the life that we have dreamed of. That means finishing my education.
There are people who can't understand how I could leave my family, the state or my friends. First let me comment, while I have lived in New Jersey most of my life, I don't like it here, not to mention I can't afford to live here. Paul and I do not value material things like we used to. Don't get me wrong we aren't going to sell everything and move to a new monastic community. We are just loosing our attachment to things. We no longer desire to find our identity in the things we have but rather in our relationships. When I say our relationships I am not saying that we are defined by other people's ideas of what we should be. That is a pet peeve, I know a handful of people that do the things they do because their mother does it that way. Worse is when there is something they won't do because of their familial perceptions. Sometimes I want to ask what is the point of leaving home at all then if you are going to live under "their" rule? Why did you get married if your family's opinion is more important than that of your spouse? If you really are happy living like this so be it. Don't hold it against me because I am not. My point is yes we are leaving behind a ton of family and it's not that we don't care. It's not that we don't love and care for them tremendously. It's that we have our own family now and our decisions are governed by that, not the extended family. The extended family isn't always supportive and that's ok, at least now it is. I had to fight my desire to please them for a long time but now it comes naturally.
There are friends we will miss terribly. I am sure those that are true friendships will out last the geographical gap. I know this can happen as many of my closest friends live hours away. We can pick up where we left off. In all honesty though there are some friendships that I do not think are going to make it. That's ok too. They kind of aren't making it now. I know that there are times to let go of unhealthy or unfulfilling friendships. That time has come. The move will help. I should say too what about all the great friends I haven't made yet. There are friendships waiting to happen.
Somehow I have strayed from reactions. I guess what's on my mind just comes out. I do have one friend that every conversation we have they mention seminary, I can't help but wonder if they want to go to seminary. I had someone with whom I am not very close, I barely have a relationship with ask me how I could leave behind someone who needed me. My answer was again I have to make the right decisions for my family.
I should take a moment here too to say that so much of this is about my relationship with God. I have debated trying to explain that here and thought the better of it. I will leave it at God has a plan for me; education is a part of it.
The truth is I am not moving to Kentucky because I don't love someone, I am moving there because I do!