Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fading Memory

I am not sure if it is the start of a new decade in life, having a child or some other circumstance but it seems that my memory is starting to elude me. I used to have a memory that was encyclopedic. I could flip through the pages of my mind and recall anything of importance. It was super useful in school. It is super useful in life in general. I rarely had to write things down. I could forget my shopping list and visualize everything that was written on it and come home with all I set out to acquire.

Lately I can't even remember where my shopping list is let alone what is on it. Simple recall is becoming difficult, by my standards anyway. What set this all off? A few months ago a friend of ours mentioned she was thinking about a fairy theme for her daughter's birthday party. A few weeks ago, I saw something in a store and later told Paul about it and how it would work really well with a fairy themed party. Last weekend we saw said friend and I could remember that I saw something fairy like but not what it was. So much so, that I can remember being in Paul's car, I can remember what road we were on and where. I can remember saying I should tell my friend. I can't remember which store I was in or what IT was. I know this doesn't normally bother people. I know it happens all the time. It has been half a week, I even went so far as to trace my steps. I talked it out with Paul, he remembers the conversation but not IT as well.

Every time a store clerk asks me if I need help finding something I giggle to myself. Yes I am looking for IT but I don't know what IT is!

Last night after driving way out of my way to go back to where the conversation happened, nothing triggered my memory. I remembered 876 other things just not what it was. So I gave up. Maybe it will come to me. Maybe it is lost forever. I am not sure.

What I can tell you is it is driving me crazy, not so much the IT anymore, just that my memory isn't what it used to be. It was one of the defining things that made me, me. It is really upsetting that I am getting rusty. I had to fight back tears the whole ride home last night.

Maybe that was a little extreme but I am still really upset. I did start some memory training exercises to try to regain what I lost. We will see what happens.

I am grateful that my long term memory is still crystal clear.
May you be blessed with remembering something amazing about your life.

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