Moving makes the people you are close to get all weird, when they aren't asking questions. I don't know what it is about moving that makes relationships awkward, but I have noticed recently that many, not all, relationships that used to be stable and enjoyable and comfortable are now very awkward. If I talk about the pending move, some folks just clam up on me. Other people can't make eye contact with me no matter what the conversation. Maybe I am just paranoid. Maybe the ones that can't make eye contact are sleeping with my husband or embezzling my millions, no thousands, no hundreds, no tens of dollars that's more like it?
I wish we could just have an awkward conversation about how the move has upset this person or that person so we can go on having a relationship as usually. I know that you might be asking why do you keep saying relationship, have you taken a lover? No not exactly unless school counts as a lover in that case I am whore. (Right, Tadd?) I am using that term because it describes many situations, family, friends, neighbors, church folk... you get the idea.
I just wish sometimes that rather than it being the elephant in the room, that someone would just say what they are thinking. I don't know why you are leaving. I am going to miss you. How could you leave me when you said you would always be there for me? As you can see things not being said puts my imagination into over drive! It would be much better for all involved to just say what they need to say. I seem a little cocky if I come over to you and say hey let's talk about me moving I know I am an important part of your life and you must be devastated.
I know for many people what I am doing is unimaginable. They couldn't imagine picking up and leaving. That's alright by me and just wish they would express the conflicting opinion so we can move forward. I wish they would just come out and ask any questions they have. I know some people want to ask other things. Not the things I blogged about last week.
The long and short of it is for some people, certainly not all, it seems my move is stirring up their junk. Dare I say making them ask where their lives are headed? Is that too vain? It is my wish that everyone I love would regularly ask where am I going anyway?
This has made many a social situation very awkward lately.
While it won't change my mind, I wish some one any one had the balls to stand up and say what they are thinking.
I get the feeling sometimes, I suppose this is likely just my own paranoia, that when I leave the room people are whispering can you believe what they are doing? That poor baby of theirs? She should give it up already! Paul doesn't have a job yet.
Either that or I have underwear static clung to my back again, like in the sixth grade, when no one told me until lunch. Although I doubt everything I wear has underwear stuck to it. I don't think I have that many pairs of underwear!
It's all good, I still love everyone just the same. I want to say that I would just tell it like it is, lest you should doubt if the tables were turned that I would hold back!