Since I decided to seek ordination again I have a stack of paperwork to tackle and about 9 short answer essays to write. This morning I sat down to start this paperwork, which I have done before so I knew what to expect. However, I find it dreadfully annoying. I understand the purpose of this paperwork is to help various groups who see it to get to know me, I have to meet with each of these groups. I would much prefer a conversation to a list of every job I have ever held since I was 17 as many of them are totally irrelevant to the task at hand. I will get it done in the next few days. It's hard to remember some of this stuff. I really have to rack my brain.
I came across the short answer questions. There are two that stood out to me. The first was describe yourself as a person. My immediate thought was dam I can't describe myself as a tree? It was with out hesitation that thought and then I was laughing out loud. I hate questions like that. I think a more accurate way to do it would be to write a paragraph or two about yourself and then find 10 people to do the same. I think this would give a much better idea of who the person was. As humans, we can't see the whole picture of who we are or how we are because we only have one perspective. Just yesterday my best friend from high school told me how she thought I had it all funny, smart and pretty. We chuckled because I thought she had all those things. The point being I would have never called my self smart at that time but she would have. I wouldn't call my self selfish now but maybe someone with whom I interact regularly would. You get the idea. I am still left with how do you describe yourself with out sounding like a narcissist? I am very intelligent, funny, compassionate and some times a little impatient. Those statements are flattering and mostly true. I do have a way with learning but sometimes I just don't get it, like with Hebrew. I am funny depending on your sense of humor I can be offensive and a little off at times. I am compassionate to everyone I don't know but I have much less compassion for people I do know. A little impatient is a total lie, I am almost always impatient. My impatience has gotten me into a pickle or two more than once. I don't need instant gratification when it comes to stuff I would like to have, but I used to. When it comes to other things I want results and I want them now. Anyhow, you see my point here? I have to find the balance. I have to somehow add in all the roles I have too like mom which still feels really new even though I have been at it for nearly two years. Then how do I keep that answer from being a novel!
Now the next question that really caught my attention was who or what is your ideal role model for ministry. I have been giving this some thought for over a week. My answers are probably all wrong. However I am going to be honest because the people who are doing ministry that I see as ideal are in the trenches getting their hands dirty or they did in their lifetime. They ask difficult questions, take difficult actions and do not partake in one with out the other. They see it isn't all about asking questions and it isn't all about taking action but that it is a blend of the two. Some of the people on my list Jesus, Mother Theresa, Jay Bakkar, Shane Claiborne, MLK, Caleb and Rhita, Oprah. OK I know Oprah is a stretch but I have a good point to make with using her as an example. That being said when I am done with my actually essay I will post it so you can see my argument for Oprah and Jesus.
Today I am grateful for how much I have grown since the last time I did this paperwork.
May you be blessed in knowing who you have become for this moment and who you will become later.