Saturday we celebrated our Lilia's second birthday a couple of weeks early. We wanted a special time to celebrate with her and our family and friends. It also was a great way to get everyone together before we headed out. It was fantastic to see everyone. I did a lot of learning this time around. I learned to keep my inner perfectionist at bay. I learned to focus on a few details that mattered. I didn't go too crazy even though I was totally stressed out by the whole thing. I tried to make a cake that I wasn't particularly happy with. Things looked nice. Eventually I said I just have to leave the moving boxes where they are people will understand and they did.
I forgot half the games. I had people lug water play gear for their kids and forgot to ever turn the sprinkler on. I forgot about the obstacle course I had dreamed up. The kids had a great time with the couple of toys I set out and the swing set. I think I have learned the type of balance I need.
Then we were singing happy birthday to Lilia and her face just lit up. She was so happy looking at her cake and hearing that singing. It was like she really understood it was for her. In that moment all the stress melted away and gratitude washed over me! I was so grateful for that moment when my child was looking around at some many people who love her and just beamed with excitement or maybe joy. I teared up a little, not only was I grateful I think I fell in love with her just a little bit more. I felt connected to her and so happy that I could give her this moment.
That night when we went to bed Paul and I were talking over the day. I told him I wasn't glad my dad died but I am glad that I learned to appreciate these moments with her and not take them for granted. I think it is probably why I will always make a big deal out of special days because you don't know when it will all change. I think if I hadn't lost him I wouldn't have the ability to embrace some of these moments. I also wondered what he would have thought of it all?
I also felt very loved by my family that was here and our absolutely amazing friends.
So two days later I am still incredibly grateful for those moments with Lilia in my arms smiling.
May you be blessed with little moments written forever on your heart!