Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Learning so much and yet feeling so inceredibly inept...

This semester is about half way through it's second full week and flying by already. I am kind of grateful for that in and of itself because I long for a good stretch of break where I can find my wits again, think summer. This semester is a lot of work spread out over the semester unlike last semester where it was all bunched up in places like the middle and the end. I am learning so much already and I think that is the change I am noticing, I see that I am learning and I LOVE the LEARNING part. I had to read the entire Directory for Worship from the Book of Order. It's dry reading but I did learn a ton from doing it.

Here's the thing though, I feel stupid frequently just when I think I am starting to grasp something my classmates will come out with something and I am like dam I have so much catching up to do. Those moments aren't constant thank God. Then there was tonights mach polity exam. Well if I wasn't feeling behind everyone else, I am now. That thing was a bear and it leaves me feeling like I am not ready, may never be ready and lots of other random not so nice things.

This is interesting because I wrote down the blog theme for today long before I took that exam. I guess that's the thing, the "smarter"I get the smarter everyone else seems around me.

Today I am grateful for the chance to learn and to recognize the growth and learning in myself.

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