Well yesterday was a day that I would prefer to not relive. I had some medication issues and some anxiety issues that landed me in the Emergency Room for half the day and left me with little in the realm of answers. Today is much better. Yesterday was a big day in our lives, we have longed for another child for years, and recently we have taken some very proactive steps in making dreams a reality with fertility issues. Yesterday was the day I was to start clomid, a hormone medication, to help get my body working toward conception. Then it turned into a rough day before I ever took the little pill that holds so much in the realm of possibilities and heart break. I was eventually able to take said pill and I am fairly certain after typing that last sentence I know where my anxiety was coming from. There are challenges in the next weeks as I travel and need to be near to Paul to make all this work. Should it be successful, will we ever have some stories to tell.
Today, I was a little nervous to see how I would feel with hormones my body doesn't make on it's own. When I was pregnant I was so much more lovey than I usually am. I woke up nauseous this was to be expected. After it passed that almost euphoric love came back. I looked at our daughter and my heart almost exploded with love and joy.
We are in for a ride in the coming months, here is to the adventure.
Today I am grateful for fertility help, for finally facing it head on, and to know the future holds many possibilities.