Heartbreak & Hope

Today I watched with a group of my fellow beloved Presbyterians the movie Milk. I had not viewed this film before but had a general idea of what it was about. I haven't stayed very long for discussions because I have to leave to get my kiddo. I want you to know, I am happy that all these Presbys have gathered together and are sharing in this week of learning. I am glad that slowly our denomination is moving forward pushing one tiny step at a time toward a more just word. I love these people, I really do and perhaps that is why I found myself feeling so much after this film today. The film in and of itself was a wonderful piece of art and compelling storytelling, easy to see why it got the Oscar nod a few years back. Then there was a series of comments about how far we have come and how gay people now have equal rights how there aren't many loud voices against them right now. Seriously, I want to get my news from these same sources, I would sleep better.

I wanted to jump out of my chair and scream are you freaking serious right now? Do you know any gay people? Have you asked them if they feel equal? I could not do this but I stayed late to share my two cents. I was born two years after Harvey Milk died, this is not my lived experience but from early on this film I wondered if anything had really changed at all. While some change did happen all I can think is how far we have to go because the fight is still very real for my gay friends, my friends of other races, cultures, and religions. There is so much hate in the world for these people and there is so much further to go. It is why I do what I do because the hate has to go. There was one resounding voice that said thank you and we moved right back to how much progress we have made. I wanted to scream, we can't stop because we have a little progress, we must push on, further and further until really there is equality. Now, I know this is not the fault of these people or their experience, it is just where they are at. Yet, there was a part of me maybe because of my love and respect for them that ached because in this moment I realized we have ever further to go than I thought on issues of equality and justice. I could have sobbed it hurt so bad, I felt sick, and light headed all through dinner. Maybe I was naive to expect better, maybe I should just be grateful for the lack of hate in the room. I don't know anything other than this day will stay with me for a long time.

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On the flip side of this I am rather enjoying contemplative photography. Today in the lesson time I was fed by the lesson, something that so rarely happens these days, as I listened to familiar scriptures I saw my own story mirrored. I wanted to shout out Oh MY GOODNESS... this is my life and I never saw it like this before, I have lived this. I didn't tell a soul I just savored it.

Today I am grateful for food on the journey, to have fellow sojourners no matter where they are at. 

A few pictures from today:

Playing with manual settings.

This guy was in the picture above too.

A reflection on journey, only so many steps can be seen at a time.