Wednesday, January 4, 2012

When I analyze my own dream...

Last night I had a crazy dream... actually most nights I do. I dream vividly and remember most dreams in great detail. Sometimes I can recall the dream and tell you exactly what part of the day I was processing.

Here are somethings that happened yeterday:

1. I told the story of Lilia's birth.
2. I misread the word semester as trimester when skimming facebook.
3. I had a conversation about if I wanted more children with a new friend.
4. I had a conversation with Paul about the perks of living in this kind of community. This one requires some detail. I said that I liked the diversity of couples on our campus because Lilia is young but should be able to remember seeing same sex couples around her from early in life. I think this will lead to her not questioning it and just accepting people. This would be fantastic. I also said I like it because we have our own space and people respect it but we also are willing to help each other out. It is the type of communal living I could do.
5. A former youth group member "liked" one of my pictures on facebook. (Actually that happened Monday but it plays into the dream later.)
6. I was working on homework for an upcoming class and in reviewing the assignments. One of which was to bring an object of significance with me to class. I thought over and over again if the house was on fire what would you grab, Lilia, Trinity and DJ. My hands would be more than full and objects would not make it, living things would. So I asked Paul what object do you think I would pick (he didn't really have much of an answer either) he eventually suggested a magnet that I have hanging over our door that belonged to my grandmother when she was living.
7. I said in a text message to Paul that I needed to relax the sphincter.
8. I expressed anxiety about having to wear my bathing suit in front of my classmates in January.
9. I watched hours of mindless HGTV which involved people looking for houses. One commented that's an odd place for the refrigerator. 
10. I had horribly make you want to die sort of cramps.
11. It was painfully cold out yesterday.
12. I was feeling home sick. I was missing my friends and fireplace.
13. I read a horoscope about the new year which stated I had spent a good portion of the last two years redefining relationships and eliminating some. Noticed that this was spot on.
14. Had a conversation with my pregnant niece about baby names. It started on facebook.
15. On various forms of social media I looked at pictures of people's new born babies.

Now enter in my dream.
The short version of my dream is that I didn't know I was pregnant and I delivered a baby girl. I am sure you can already see the connections there. I was in a large house with a grand staircase and a larger than life fire place beside which I was laying. I am screaming in pain and holding my legs together my mother and grandmother are on either side of me and my grandmother is trying to convince me that I need to just relax my legs and let it pass. Somehow she knows what is going on. Then I relax my legs and a baby just comes out, tiny and a girl and I am surprised by her, I didn't know she was coming, but I am FULL OF JOY. I look at Paul and say we need to name her, we start talking about names and I suggest Surprise Joy because that is what she is. Then I get this notion that I need to tell everyone what happened. I stand up and look at the bed because I think it is covered in blood, childbirth is messy business and I am surprised because I just see three spots. Then I say I must not need stitches but I am sore.  I see Abby (former youth grouper) at the top of the stairs and I say did you hear what happened? Then I run into Tadd, Cass & Will and various other people from life at home. There are also people from our new community, including several same sex couples. I tell them what happened. I found Will by a garage and made him call Cass downstairs, he was shoveling snow. We all seem to live together in this big house. Then I said to Paul I have to post this on facebook no one is going to believe it and I want to post, "I am now mom to two amazing daughters, I was surprised to have had a baby last night." Then there is a scene change and we are looking at houses in Paul's old neighborhood and I say that is a weird place for a refrigerator. We have a conversation about a hand full of people we are no longer talking to. Then I am back to the community house because I decide I want to stay there and I go to post my big news on facebook and I wake up.

When I woke up I was totally freaked out because it all seemed so real but then I realized it was just Lilia and DJ in bed with me. I was relieved.

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