Here's the short version. This week I noticed that I am building up my walls. That I am pulling in the welcome mat and shutting down in a lot of ways. I also noticed being this lost inside myself is rather depressing. I long to know people on a deep level yet I myself at times will only go so deep, there is safety when you can still touch the bottom or have some sort of tube to separate you from the depth or bumping into one another. I noticed myself gravitating toward the shallow end this week, retreating with in.
The thing is when I get to that place I feel things I normally don't feel and I get confused about what the truth is. Luckily for me, I don't have to go it alone. This time, I have had enough of going it alone and have plans of intentionally inviting others to the messy part of the journey with me. I am slightly afraid because I have never made these particular decisions before, I have never invited anyone in to the mess let alone faced the mess.
Today I am grateful that I don't have to clean the mess up alone.