Thursday, July 5, 2012

Days like Today are Rough

Today was the 4th of July. I used to love days like today, an extra day off of work, fireworks, usually spending the day poolside and eating some sort of grilled delights. It's how I grew up, it is how I have probably spent nearly every July 4th in my life at a cook out with a pool surrounded by people. I moved away from my life long community where these kind of invitations were the norm almost a year ago and what I have noticed is that I really miss my home, my people on days like today.

It's days like today I realize that this thing called faith and listening to God's call have turned my world upside down. In reality it started a few years ago when I started questioning my own patriotism in light of faith. I don't want to get into that all here, it's just really hard to say we are all God's children and then say yay us!

Moving here has taken me away from nearly everything I know, granted I am getting to know lots of knew things but all that newness gets exhausting, sometimes you need something that is just comfortable. Paul no longer has holidays off so today felt like just another day, not one set apart for celebrating anything. With the temperature hovering between 99-105 yet again it is too hot to really enjoy spending the day outside with out being in a pool. I was totally bummed this morning as I thought of the day ahead and how we have spent this day as a family in the past, with friends and family. I got to thinking maybe it's what I make of it. So I made kool aid, which is a treat for LG. I took out the bigger baby pool and invited some of LG's friends to our "front porch" for a morning swim. We have an ample supply of ice pops that came in handy. I rummaged around the kitchen and found supplies for black bean burgers and intended upon making a quinoa and sun-dried tomato salad. Paul came home from work with left over pizza, not typical food for the fourth but it was less work.

I hope at the end of the day that LG is making great memories even if they are different from mine. I long for the hot summer days filled with pools and grills, beaches and boats... cool summer nights under the stars with a little fire and friends or walking on the moon lit beach. I really just don't know how to "do" summer in my new context. We did see fireworks twice in two days and bonus tonight's display involved air conditioning. I have a community here, we are just all students and not a one of us has a pool and it's just too darn hot to sit out on the communal patio for more than ten minutes.

I guess I am grateful for air conditioning and living in a place where clean water is so abundant that I can fill the baby pool each morning and empty each night laden with guilt because I have held in my arms a child with out enough water just to drink and I get to use water for play. We are blessed, in spite of all this desolation. 

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