Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Finding the Good

I don't know that I have ever experienced stress like this. The beginning of the semester, coupled with grief and being a week behind on top of the regular stress of juggling childcare and just life with no family close by. I already missed my family terribly before Donna passed away. Now it's like a pain that won't go away. Everywhere I look something reminds me of the people I hold dear. Tears well up in my eyes at seemingly random times. I just want to go home and I don't know where home is. This is hard. It might be the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

In spite of the pain, the confusion, the anger, the lack of patience and all that goes with it, I can still see the good.

Things for which I am grateful:

1. Nutella, yesterday I opened my cabinet and found the nutella my friend gifted me. It made me smile. Then I learned it's even better with peanut butter. So this morning it was toast with peanut butter and nutella. You should stop what you are doing and try it right now.

2. A high that is in the sixties today. It feels like fall and right now, I need that, its like a gift to my soul.

3. My not so baby girl, laughing and giggling and learning and growing.

4. This Pumpkin Spice Coffee. It's a good pick me up. Bonus because it makes me feel like fall is really here.

Today it is safe to say in the middle of this storm that I am grateful for the little things that remind me I am alive, that life is going on and that one day I will again feel "normal".

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