Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Expectation

I was reminded recently that two years ago right around this time, we found out Lilia was on her way. Of course we had no idea that she was a girl or would be named Lilia. We wouldn't even have a doctor's appointment for another two weeks. While we were trying to have a baby Christmas time was always hard. I always had the baby itch around Christmas. I always had the baby itch really bad around Christmas. When I was chatting with some ladies recently it seems that everyone gets a bit of the itch at Christmas time. Honestly, earlier this season was the first time I felt even the slightest of baby itches since Lilia was born. It has since left me, but I can't help but wonder what it is about Christmas?

Christmas even on a secular level is just magical, especially for children. Children make Christmas joyous, even when it's all about the presents. So was it about wanting to share that Christmas morning anticipation with a child? Maybe that was part of it but I think there is more to it.

Being pregnant at Christmas was nothing short of magical, for me. We had wanted a baby for so long it felt like a Christmas miracle. I remember saying I was cautiously optimistic. I was filled with hope and wonder. Even though I wasn't a virgin impregnated by the Holy Spirit, I could relate to Mary's story. I myself was having what felt like a miracle baby.

That's the thing about Christmas no matter what angle you take, there is always expectant joy. If you are a kid waiting for Santa or a mother to be waiting for a baby or a sinner waiting on a savior. There is some expectation of joy there no matter how you look at it, and born of that joy's expectation, I believe is hope. I have been writing about my recent wait on an acceptance or rejection letter from a school and I call it my Advent anticipation. It's just like expecting that first Doctor's appointment two Advents ago. So maybe this is a really good thing, this Advent waiting. Although it doesn't compare to the whole we are having a baby and I cry every time I hear the Christmas story, joy.

There is something good about expecting something JOYFUL, isn't there?

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