What the Heck

So a few months ago I decided that I might be ready to spend a weekend away. Circumstances as they were I did no such thing. Paul on the other hand had an opportunity to go away this weekend, which I encouraged because I thought it would be good for him. So I sent him off gladly Thursday afternoon. I had a little apprehension about not having him here, especially this time of year.

It is a crazy busy time of year especially for women. Sorry male readers you for the most part get off the hook for the holiday season. Especially if you are married or in a serious relationship. We shop, wrap, ship, plan menus, cook, serve, clean and decorate just to name a few of the things we add to our regular daily routine. (If you argue the point here that we choose to do this know that my inner woman will come out and eat you for breakfast. We have a kid now, she needs to know all the varieties of magic Christmas has to offer.) You all have to buy one gift if that, for us and wrap it. Then you get to sit back and critique our cookies and meals. Maybe hang a few lights outside. When I first heard about this retreat my thought was it was a very bad time of year to have one. Then again maybe the rational being it is Advent a good time to be quiet and connect with God.

Anyhow, I am three days into this and I want to scream. First of all when exactly do I get a break. I know that sounds incredibly selfish but I don't care, I would pay a lot of money for one night of uninterrupted anything, reading, movie watching, sleep. I have had maybe 8 hours of sleep. I caught the cold Paul brought home so you can imagine I am less than stellar. I am not myself at all. All I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV and drink ginger ale. This is impossible because I have a toddler and even if she were out of trouble she would change the TV input and mute it almost immediately. Currently as I write this she is tearing pages out of my most sacred prayer journal. Alas something has to occupy her so I can get these words out. She is also whining because apparently they aren't tearing just how she likes it. Yesterday I made it through the Target trip from hell. I have had minimal contact with Paul through all of this. As it should be.

Then this morning I had a tech question for him and he tells me he is getting harassed for using his cell phone and not being fully present. I wanted to drive there and smack someone myself. I get the whole idea of being fully present, I do. Sometimes though your wife needs to know how to work the freaking DVD player because she is trying to steal 10 minutes of holiday relaxation on her own. I gave up on the movie and men in general. I know you guys on the retreat are going to read this and I don't care.

While I think the overall concept of a men's retreat is good and needed. While I respect that dudes need time away from all the pressures of work, family and what ever else it is that concerns them. I think it was an incredibly selfish time of year to plan this. I think it is ridiculous to harrass someone about tech support for their wife who is going a little bonkers at home. I hope you all appreciate what your wives gave you this weekend while they stayed home with your kids and Christmas. I sincerely hope you give them the same and that when you text them during the super bowl because you can't find the ketchup that who ever they are with would be kind enough to understand that you need the ketchup!

In some ways I think I would have preferred a weekend of beer and strip clubs. At least then I would be allowed to ask for tech support.

Ladies I hope you agree when I say sometimes the dudes just don't get it, they just don't get it at all. To those of you and there are many who asked me when we ladies get our weekend away, the answer is freaking soon!

It's no wonder I hate Christmas. Also I know it might not be obvious but despite my rant I do really hope Paul comes back refreshed.