Friday, December 3, 2010

I want today to be a good day.
I actually have plans tonight.
I want to enjoy a night out.

However the morning just started off all wrong. I found myself frustrated with my body. Not that anything is hurting or not working how I want it. Just at it's general ability to grow rather than shrink no matter what I do. I noticed some less than desirable changes. Add to that nothing fits right and it is pretty much a mood killer. I have made so many changes in the past few years and nothing helps.

Then my dear Paul can't give me a straight answer about anything and it drives me crazy. I was asking his opinion about a little playhouse we bought. He couldn't give me one. It's not hard, it's just an opinion. Do you think I should paint the other side? All I heard in his response was a sugar coated version of you need to paint the whole thing but I am not going to say that because you will get upset. My thought was why don't you offer to help me do it? It is a totally overwhelming process. I just don't understand why everything Christmas related is my responsibility.

I don't want to use this blog like I have previous ones to air our dirty laundry if you will. This exchange today really brought me down though. I am tired all the time and I always have to be the motivator. It adds to my over all exhaustion. Other than baking I have Christmas pretty much done. However we have editing to get done, and by done I mean done, like I never want to look at it again. Somehow all the pressure for that has also fallen to me. I just wish I could get an hour of uninterrupted rest. Not even sleep just rest.

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