Sunday, January 30, 2011


I have been having moments of panic as we prepare for our big move. I think that is normal. Friday however I had my first total melt down, all systems go in panic mode. The flood gates opened and my mind was whirring with questions. It was like a nor'easter wind, snow, ice and even thunder. Questions were no so kind as to dance in my head they were in a frenzy chanting in some language, probably biblical Hebrew, that I couldn't understand.

How are you going to afford child care? Who will you trust with Lilia? Maybe this is selfish? Maybe you should just take one or two classes to get started? How do you know you like Kentucky? What if you hate school?

They swirled on.

I was near tears and calling the whole thing off. Luckily, I did not. I started just digging through paperwork and got myself psyched up about the classes I will be taking. Found information on scholarships and grants. Looked at previous years schedules to get an idea of how much childcare we will need.

Slowly calmed down again. Pressed on.

I will keep pressing on. I know in the end this is the right decision for all of us even if it is a hard one. My perseverance will teach Lilia a lot more about life than school ever will. I want her to grow up to be strong and to know how to press on. The best way to teach her that is to do it myself.

I am sure more nor'easters will roll on to the shores of my brain. It is how I deal with them that matters, not that they are there in the first place. It is kind of like that beachy snow chic I built the other day.

Today I am grateful for questions because they precede growth.
May you be blessed by difficult questions and the courage to live into the answers!

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