Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ode to Motherhood how I became the owner of a Mr. Pibb tshirt

If you have one of those fancy phones that I do not have, you can do this check in on four square thing. I am not sure I get it but I know from various posts on social networking sites that you can earn badges based on your check ins; kind of reminds me of Girl Scouts.

If motherhood had badges like that I earned at least three today.

There are certain things no one tells you about motherhood, like your hair might fall out up to six months after birth or you need to wear a bra to bed if you are nursing even if your milk hasn't come in. I watched a lot of kids in my time. I have 3 nephews all of which have barfed on me so badly that I had to sit there in my underwear while my clothes washed. Two of those nephews barfed hotdogs on me. Needless to say I still to this day refuse to feed them hotdogs. I guess what I am saying is, I am not a first time mom with little experience, I have a ton of experience with kids. That being said it's not the same as having your own little bundle of joy, although I would say pretty close some days.

I guess I should start at the beginning. (This might take awhile so grab some tea or if you are feeling generous drink a few shots for me.) Two weeks ago Paul gave his job notice which was accepted. Last week they called and said the next day would be his last day. We rushed Lilia to the Doctor's office in fear of not having insurance when her two year check up came right before we moved. She had one booster shot and a clean bill of health. In the mean time Paul negotiated like a champ and was able to get another weeks worth of work and to extend our medical coverage until the end of the month.

Saturday we got an early start, as to avoid Benny traffic in the afternoon, we ran a few errands and headed home. Paul and I did a quick project out in the garage during nap time and then we took Lilia to the zoo. We noticed on the way home she was really tired. She didn't want dinner. We figured it was her shot having a few side effects. At bed time she was burning up. She seemed to have no other symptoms except a little gas. Sunday it was more of the same. Sunday night she whimpered need help need help for a good part of the night or was that Monday, it's all starting to blend. It pretty much broke my heart. Monday she still had a fever. We called the Dr. on call for the holiday weekend. They said it sounds like a virus, keep doing what we were doing and call our Dr. in the morning. We did, mystery virus was the diagnosis. So we kept up with the Tylenol Advil rotation. We noticed yesterday she was really upset before she peed but she also farted and had just taken Tylenol so we didn't think much of it.

Today was a whole new ball game, fever up and down, so fast you could feel her go from 99 -103 sitting on your lap in a mater of minutes. Then she started crying and getting a bit hysterical. She started grabbing at her diaper over her girl parts, yelling pee pee, oh no, need help. This went on for over two hours. That is when we figured out that she hadn't done a pee pee in over 12 hours but she had been drinking like a champ. It must be hurting her to pee pee. She wouldn't go. The second hour I cried with her until my mother came over and said go calm down I have her. I felt so helpless. I took a shower and Lilia fell asleep. That's badge one. Having a sob a long with your baby because you can't figure out how to help her.

Badge two is figuring out that taking care of a sick baby is much like having a new born. My house is more of a disaster than it has been even accounting for the moving mess. I haven't really made dinner since Saturday it's been find what you can and fend for yourself. I am like a zombie so is Paul. That might be a badge too, my girl only wants her dad and I feel useless but I am surviving. This morning my mother, who is here until we move, went out and bought doughnuts long before we got up. It was the happiest thing I have seen in a long time.

So this afternoon Paul called the Dr office again, our regular doctor is gone for the week so they referred us to another practice. We quickly got an appointment with them. As Paul was on the phone with them Lilia woke up from her 10 minute nap screaming and finally peed. It smelled awful it was on my shirt. I changed. She fell back to sleep. She slept all the way to the doctor's office. When we walked in she went hysterical and promptly peed all over me. Half my shirt was covered in pee that smelled like a zoo exhibit. I got her changed. They got her set up with a urine bag to catch her pee and we waited for two hours while I gave her cranberry juice boxes. She did not pee again. We came home with a new bag to put on her in the morning. Once I get her to go, I have to return it so it can be tested. You know as soon as we got home she went pee right?

In the mean time, Paul had to run to a co workers house to pick up equipment for his last job tomorrow. I had planned on riding home topless with a blanket to cover me up. I couldn't do this in front of his co workers. So we ran to Target, where I sat in the parking lot under a blanket while he ran in to grab me a t-shirt. Of course the minute Lilia started yelling in her car seat and I abandoned blanket to tend to her the cart boy came over to collect the carts in the corral next to the car. He had his cell phone out. I hope I am not on some people of Target website now in my very practical mommy bra.

That is my third badge, I endured being peed on in public and smelling like a farm animal for several hours, then sat topless in a Target parking lot. I have to tell you at this point all I could do was laugh. Lilia fell asleep and I laughed for a really long time.

Here's to hoping tomorrow we find an answer to what has her so upset. I will tell you this last pee pee didn't seem nearly as painful, and call me crazy but I think that the cranberry juice might have helped her out a little bit.

I must also tell you I was THAT mom today for awhile, the one who will freak out and scream until she finds an answer. I didn't have to though. I feel like we are on our way so maybe the change in Doctor's office was a good thing for this momma. That might be a badge too.

I feel like I am entitled to being that mom. In case you aren't a regular reader or you aren't familiar with my story. My youngest brother had cancer at age five that should have killed him, but it didn't. He's 28 now and going strong. It is believed by just about everyone but the government that his cancer was caused by my father's direct exposure to agent orange in Vietnam. This also caused my father's illness which eventually took his life. Research shows that agent orange actually mutates DNA so I will have to be super vigilant with my girl as I carry that warped DNA around. I get a little crazy when she doesn't feel well, especially when it is a mystery illness. This is also why when they very seriously asked me if I was comfortable with applying the urine sample bag I nearly laughed. I have had to learn some pretty tricky at home medical treatments for my sick family members from the time I was very young. This should be cake.

And that my friends is how I became the owner of this Mr. Pibb t-shirt which isn't even sold many places in NJ. It goes everything against my fat girl wearing a food brand logic but it decidedly does not smell like zoo animal urine.

This is long and rambling but I hope it gets all the people who love us up to date on what is going on with our little love.

Today I am grateful for compassionate medical professionals.
May you be blessed with a healthy child(ren).

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