Reflection

It's here, the week we move our lives so far away. I find that today, this morning, I am using music to help me feel what I am feeling. I do that a lot when there are too many feelings all at once. Currently I am listening to a break up song, which is about a pretty bad break up. This is odd because I am leaving but it's not really breaking up with a town or a house or a community. I also never experienced this thing called the break up in too serious of terms. I digress.

These past few days I have been living my dream life, little adventures with my little family. Time spend with good friends who make you feel fulfilled by their presence in your life. Life giving relationships are hard to come by but when they do they are worth it. I see in myself a maturity that wasn't there before when it comes to such things.

This blog isn't about any of that either, really it's a question, what is it about leaving that has made me take a week to live how I want to live? How do I live normally that isn't so fulfilling? I generally live like there might not be tomorrow because that is the absolute truth for every single one of us. This thing called life can end at any moment, even if we are young, healthy and strong, just getting started.

I have some answers to these questions, like sometimes your friends are more willing to make it a point to hang out when they know you are leaving. I think that's just life, I don't mean it in a negative sort of way. I mean that in this business and busyness of life, it is sometimes hard to find the time, yet when it matters we can find the time. Other reasons are more personal and more fitting for a journal entry, an entry I honestly probably won't write later. Partly because I am afraid to write it and make it all real and to feel all that comes with that. Partly because I simply don't have time. I am using up moments on this blog entry and laundry folding this morning. I need to be working on homework, updating a scrapbook and various other small tasks that need finishing. When really all I want to do is be on the beach and swim in the ocean, because it won't be here on Monday.

I am grateful for life lived in a way that is fulfilling. I am hopeful that it will continue.
May you be blessed by a fulfilling life that isn't just full.