Losing my Education

There is an REM song, Losing my Religion, the lyrics to the refrain go like this:

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough

Fear not, I am not losing my religion although I would prefer some other word much like the spiritual but not religious group that is forever on the rise. The only difference is well I work in organized religion, which isn't big on the spirituality of self.  This morning I was reading a book that could be classified somewhere between religion and spirituality. Let me say, for me the two are as intertwined as they are separate. I was sitting along a parade route awaiting the start and reading quietly about ancient spiritual practice, I am also currently reading about mysticism, it seems two years out of seminary and I a ready to tackle "heady" books again. These two books are written by different people, in different traditions, a few years apart; yet they have common themes. I was reading the author's take on Biblical themes and thinking to myself, I really need to sit down and slowly work my way through the entire Bible again and identify the themes.

That is when it hit me, I used to know these things! If I thought about it long enough I could probably recall nearly all the thematic trends I was taught. The problem seems to be that they didn't sink into my permanent memory as sometimes happens when you are a full time graduate student, parent to a toddler, and an intern. In that moment I felt like the education I worked so hard for was starting to slip away as the demand for academics grows weaker and the demand for administration grows stronger in my day to day life. I noticed recently too that I would like to look back on how to do exegesis in sequential steps. I have all my note books so I can go back to them and review if I ever find the time, perhaps it is time I make time for them.

These song lyrics jumped into my head only with education instead of religion. Trying to keep up, trying to keep the balance between saying too much and not enough and often feeling like I have done both. I can't really make sense of it here but I can tell you for sure that it captures how I am feeling about all my education this week.

Today I am grateful for all the educational opportunities I have had and I will have in the coming lifetime.