Monday, April 4, 2011

Pondering Limits

I found myself this weekend wondering if we have limits we are born with. It really is a silly thought but a serious question.

When I was a little girl my grandmother would feed me as much ice cream as I wanted anytime after lunch. She would let me have it again after dinner. She would give us huge bowls full. My grandmother really loved ice cream, she grew up during the depression so something like ice cream was a real treat. She made sure though that we had plenty and she wasn't shy about having some either. She ate it nearly every night summer or winter. I stayed with my grandparents a lot while my brother and father were ill. I ate a lot of ice cream in those years.

This weekend I was at an event where we were playing a getting to know you game of sorts. You picked a question out of a bowl and everyone in the group had to answer. I don't know why but recently almost every where I go when we are doing introductions people ask what is your favorite ice cream flavor. Then I have to be to awkward one who says I don't really like ice cream but if I had to pick it would be pumpkin pie or coffee if it isn't the fall. I eat ice cream maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I wonder if maybe in your life time you are born with the ability to enjoy something only so many times. I wonder if I used up all my love for ice cream as a kid? Could it even work like that?

I also find myself wondering frequently if you are only born with so much patience for certain situations. I feel often times like I wasted all my patience for children on other people's children because I really seem to lack it with my own child. I spent no less than 15 years working as a childcare provider. I spent hours patiently dealing with the most difficult of children. Then I also volunteers for years as a youth worker. Which if you have ever worked with teenagers and didn't off yourself, you know takes patience like you wouldn't believe you had. Why is it then that when my baby gets fidgety during a diaper change that I find my patience running short? Seriously did I use them all up?

Lastly, Paul hurt himself this weekend. I had to put my busy weekend plans on hold to take care of him. Something I have done before many times in my life. I have taken care of a higher than average number of sick, dying or injured people in my three decades. There isn't really a situation I haven't seen. I found myself really struggling with it this weekend. I don't think anyone enjoys it but I have always been able to suck it up and do it. This weekend I didn't have the patience I once had. We survived and he is back to doing most things for himself now. I have to wonder again have I used up all my tolerance cards?

What do you think?

1 comment:

  1. no they are waiting for you
    really truly
    it is impossible