Sunday, August 15, 2010

Letting Go

Sometimes you have to let go of things you really like. As Paul and I research and plan what could turn out into being a very big move, I have had some time to think about all the things we need to sell or give away that just aren't worth taking on the journey. This of course is like putting the cart before the horse since we aren't sure that any of that will work out. I think it puts getting rid of my things in a context that feels do able. I will admit there are certain things I am really attached to. My books, board games, and the party box to name a few. Oh and the dinning room set that will be far too large for our next dwelling because I love the chairs.

I have also been learning to let go of expectations. That's a hard one. Oh and my control freak tendencies. I took a huge step by having Lilia's birthday at home that wasn't ours. It turned out well and I survived. I have been learning to let go of a lot of things. Too many things to list.

Sometimes we have to let go of people or relationships. This is sometimes the hardest. Be it some one has passed on or just your lives have taken different directions. Recently I had to make a choice like this about a few people in my life. Some bonds simply cannot be ended but have to be re-navigated to a place that is healthy. Other relationships aren't worth it. They can't be healthy in any manifestation so you have to let them go. Such is the case for me. I had to do this in the past few weeks. I had to make a decision that was healthy for me and my family. It is difficult to say the least. However the elements needed to have a healthy relationship were not there coupled with mental illness have made it impossible.

I wish I could write about all the details here but I can't. This blog is a public place and I couldn't write it in a way that wasn't damaging to the other person involved. While I think the actions of said individual speak for themselves, I made a resolution that this blog would not be a platform for publicly bashing people.

What I want to say though is I know I have made the right decision. Why then is it so dam hard?

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